Break of Dawn
The expanse of the desert blankets the rolling dunes in a vaporous light illuminated by three moons. The distant horizon glows with silver radiance, hinting at the impending sunrise. As I stand in this surreal landscape, the enormity of what lies ahead is perceptible.
My name is TaaRell, and I am the only girl in the group of three who became adults during the past year. Beside me stands a boy, shivering despite the balmy four degrees. His golden irises have turned black; he is crying. He looks to me for reassurance, and I look back with steadfast courage: ‘MoTHer provides.’
He smiles, saying softly, ‘You’ve always been the strongest of us, TaaRell. MoTHer provides.’ I don’t even know their names, but it doesn’t matter anymore now.
The entire village stays awake all night, anticipation and excitement rising with each passing hour. The breeze from the desert makes the sand prickle my skin. Together we gather at the outskirts of our village, standing in reverent silence and awaiting that glimmering moment when our sky will turn cerulean, and a new day will begin.
My excitement is palpable – I’ve been waiting for this my whole life. I shift the layers of traditional garments, ensuring the bag on my back holds firmly in place. Inside it, I carry Tala collected from the desert this morning, enough for wandering a day into the desert before I must search for food again.
At last, that time arrives: as if by fate, the bright orb of our glorious sun crests over the dunes, throwing long shadows across the undulating landscape. A cheer rises from those behind us, and with it, an eagerness fills me and every one of us as we each step off into different directions.
***
The desert has loomed still for the past eight hours, a sheer tapestry of soft sand, heaving dunes, and meandering thoughts. Despite that midday temperature hovering around a pleasant 45 degrees Celsius, my inner warmth is driven by nostalgia - for being a youngling in my childhood home.
But then, something doesn’t feel quite right - a thought lingers just beyond the periphery of my consciousness like a looming sandstorm. I pause as an icy realisation dawns on me - I am thirsty. My body seems to cast me back to that moment three years ago when the First Seeress took us out into the desert for the first time:
‘Take care of yourself. Never get thirsty in the desert. You need to know your body. Seek water in time.’
Regret burns through my veins as I chastise myself for my carelessness. Was I still a mere youngling dancing along, obliviously overlooking all of the signs from my body? In an effort to regain control and confidence, I centre my breath, in and out - two times for each inhale, calming my agitated mind. Slowly, assurance began to fill me again; this is the world, and its secrets are mine to uncover. My calm follows suit.
I close my eyes and say to myself: ‘MoTHer provides.’ I cast out my Sense like a net and follow the subtle pull on my mind as I resume walking. A wave of relief brandishes through my body when I notice the source is not far, only a perpendicular journey of 500 meters. But it doesn’t matter anyhow: There is no destination in mind – I’m but one young, aimless traveller on an endless voyage.
The sand dunes are indistinguishable from each other, yet I know which way to turn. Dropping to my knees at the base of a hill, I scoop away the sand with both hands until I feel resistance; KuuLar roots! This miraculous plant contains more than just water - it holds rare nutrients as well.
‘Thank you, MoTHer,’ I whisper gratefully. It has been a long day, and I decide to reward myself with some Tala and refreshments from the root. After all, it is my first day in that strange new world of adulthood.
***
Gazing at the sky, I register that it is past noon. I promise myself to be more careful and give myself only four more hours of walking before I will seek a place to sleep. I cast my eyes over the desert before me, sand glowing softly until it merges with the glistening horizon. A whisper from times past brushes my heart - find your bearing in the desert, or else you will wander in circles without end. I stretch out my Sense and feel the omnipresent direction of the planet. I only found bewilderment when I asked what was behind the direction spell. I hear the seeress say: ‘Why does it matter? The important thing is that you can feel it. Can you?’
My memory sees my younger self nodding before it fades away. Why did nobody ever want to know? I drink deeply from the root and store some KuuLar flesh in my bag.
***
As the sun sinks below the horizon, I feel exhaustion tugging at my limbs like an old friend. Soon it will be a three-moon night - the kind of night the First Seeress used to tell my mother about when anything was possible, but for now, I must find somewhere to rest before the twilight swallows me up.
I scan the rolling dunes for a safe harbour, knowing that the only dangerous creatures here were usually drawn towards rockier terrain. Finding a spot not far from a hip-high dune that won’t succumb to the wind’s fierce embrace, I bury myself until just my face is free and covered by a delicate veil of fabric. Its warmth will last me until dawn. Closing my eyes, I drift off into dreams.
***
Day 38 of my desert wandering, and I can scarcely recall the life I led among my childhood people. But deep inside, pride wells. I’m surviving out here in the desert and feel MoTHer’s embrace every day.
From the new adults arriving in our community, I’ve heard stories of journeys of sixty days and more. We all are on the journey of our lives, wandering the desert until we find our new places to live. Many of us form a bond for life with the new community. Rather, I seek a place that will accept me as an unbound wanderer; if I find a mate along the way, all the better – I’ll stay. If not, and the knowledge of the community runs dry, on I go.
For two days now, the terrain has changed: gone is the soft sand below my feet; now, crunching rocks occupy my path. Suddenly up ahead, something strange catches my eye - the air seems to flicker in one direction only. This is new to me; it isn’t a sign of a settlement. I feel excitement cruising through my veins, and I press on.
***
I descend into a hidden hollow encircled by soaring stone formations that hide it from the surrounding desert. I feel something my feet have never felt before - a hard surface harder than rock, as if polished and slickened, glossy like glass. I smash a rock against this layer, but the rock shatters while the ground beneath it remains unscathed. A sense of warning rises in my chest, for these are conditions I know the GoRaks adore. As I survey the scene, ruins reveal themselves. I step toward them, unsure of what I’m witnessing. They are too grand to be houses, and their walls were flat, impeccably built – a whole village and more of them. Their walls are of material much stronger than I've ever seen in my life. A distant horizon beckons in the desert beyond.
Some of the structures were scorched - others were shattered as if split in two by a powerful force. I wonder what could have caused this destruction, but there was no time for speculation.
I am following a hunch and stop. No mistakes now. I close my eyes and stretch out my Sense. It is as I feared: there is no water as far as I can feel. This means that I need to turn around at some stage, but just not yet. Something else puzzles me, but I don’t quite know what. I open my eyes, recap and plunge into my Sense again. A chill runs down my spine when I finally notice that there is absolute silence when I stretch out into the landscape in front of me. It is difficult to notice since I didn't know that there is usually a sound – a hum might describe it best. The silence is wrong: an impossible hush blanketing the scene like a shroud. An animalistic instinct urges me away from the silent ruins and back into the safety of the moving sand dunes. But my curiosity wins, forcing me to linger and take in every detail with open eyes and ears.
***
Sleep evades me on the third night of my explorations of this peculiar village. I should have been exhausted after another day of explorations, but instead, I lie awake and watch the three moons hanging in the sky. My thoughts are full of images of towering houses, their frames reinforced by metal and glinting in the ethereal light of the moons. There are artificial valleys between even bigger houses. But when I venture further into the village, the buildings become smaller and more crumbling, bits of slag mixed in with the dirt, like molten parts of the structures sank to the ground and became one with it. I wriggle in the soft sand and finally succumb to unsteady dreams. My dream was a relentless nightmare of houses tall as mountains, but there were people filling the space between the houses. Then suddenly, a flash brighter than the sun blinds my imaginative eyes. A tosing sandstorm made of pure fire devours people and turns the scene into blackened rubble and smoking ruins. I jolt.
When I open my eyes, it’s morning already, and I am overwhelmed with dread and icy coldness. Mid-summer temperatures should not be this frigid. My feverish mind tells me something is terribly wrong. I pull myself out of the sand, only to tremble harder. Every muscle of my body aches even though I have done no physical labour. In terror, I see my the skin of my arms has changed from bronze to a dull, malaise brown. What evil force has intruded on me? And why do I feel so much weariness when I fall asleep?
A keen sense of dread creeps up my spine as I scream for answers: ‘MoTHer! What happens to me?’
I can feel a surge of bile burn in my throat and the taste of Tala on my tongue. My back presses firmly against the sand dune that sheltered me during the night, and my ragged breathing finds no solace from the welcoming heat the desert has to offer. Terror grips me when I run my hands through my copper-coloured hair, only to find tufts of it between my fingers.
Despair begins to settle over me, but an ember of strong will still burns inside me. Exploring is why I came here - to uncover secrets lost in time. How can I give up now when that’s all my life is about? Gritting my teeth, I push myself up from the sand and force my trembling body onward toward the village. Death may be waiting for me there, but I refuse to die without achieving something first. Determined, despite life’s brevity, I take one final step forward into the unknown.
***
Am I dead? I hear whispering, but I am too tired to open my eyes. Is this you, MoTHer?
‘Who found her?’
‘The Physics expedition - they were taking routine measurements. They brought her back in time. We gave her twice the dose of med-nano-bots, and the H-AI confirmed that they would be able to reverse the cell damage.’
The air seems to hum as if waiting for my next move. Through half-opened eyes, I see an older woman and a young man discussing something urgently. The woman turns her head in my direction and studies me with gentleness in her eyes.
‘Look. Who is awake?’ she says. ‘Don’t be alarmed: you will be fine. I am running this place, but I thought you wanted to meet SoKaal. He came to our community as a new adult about four years ago. He is a medic…uh... I mean, he is a healer and historian.’
He smiles at me. My voice is small when I ask what has happened to me.
The woman’s response sends cold chills down my spine. ‘You entered the forbidden zone, a city that was wiped out 41,000 years ago in a nuclear explosion during the Great War. It is still a radioactive hot zone. You suffered from radiation poisoning, but we can heal you,’ she replies gently.
SoKaal laughs. ‘Don’t pretend you have understood all this, but I will explain everything once you are better.’
I close my eyes for a moment and ponder the situation. When I open them again, I have further questions. ‘Did MoTHer want me dead? Should I have died? Is the Balance intact?’
The female has the touch of an elder. ‘Don’t worry. The Balance is alright. MoTHer didn’t want you dead - she wants you to become a Scientist. Welcome to your new community.’
Realisation slowly dawns on me as I process her words. Only the oldest of the elders occasionally spoke of mythical places where our people are allowed to explore and learn. However, half of our people deem them dangerous, and the other half doubt their existence. But here I am; this place must be one from those stories.
My mind races with possibilities as I attempt to name my new home. “Is this a … Heppa… Hep…?” My voice quivers in anticipation. SoKaal smiles and says softly, “Yes. Welcome to our Heptaton.”